Introduction to the Introduction
It’s been over a year since I was confirmed into the Catholic Church, on Easter Vigil 2023. I feel I need to write a short ‘introduction to the introduction.’ When I began writing these journal entries, approximately two years ago, I was on a quest to learn and understand the Catholic faith. I was gathering information, in a somewhat haphazard way, and finding the words to express what I was learning. This journal was the result.
Bishop Robert Barron explains that faith is “the adventure of mystery.” Now I understand that I was never simply a searcher on a quest, a gatherer of information, somehow in charge of my destiny (this actually makes me laugh out loud, joyfully); rather, I’ve always been a very poor, lost, half-blind pilgrim who found herself entering into the mystery of God’s eternal plan. An entrance that has assuredly been guided by Mother Mary. It turns out, being poor in spirit was the first step. Her hand reached out to me and finally I grasped it, and mercifully I’ve never looked back.
The Psalmist sings: It is the lowly heart that understands.
This adventure of mystery is not an endless enigma, in terms of something that can never be understood; rather, it is the foundational truth of existence, that reveals itself in flashes, in glimpses, and in moments, as I make my way through a dense fog, one step at a time. God reveals Himself to us in the most astonishingly personal way, in perfect place and timing. Even when we, especially, do not understand or prefer the path he places before us. The path has its darkness and confusion, its troubles and tribulations; yet at times it is flooded with the most beautiful and wondrous light. Unexpected vantages open and the troubled heart finally finds peace. And when found, it is never forgotten. The journey for me is now a matter of following the Light that leads me and never leaves me.
Over 1400 years ago, Saint Gregory the Great wrote in one of his homilies:
To love thus is to be already on our way. No matter what obstacles we encounter, we must not allow them to turn us aside from the joy of that heavenly feast. Anyone who is determined to reach his destination is not deterred by the roughness of the road that leads to it. Nor must we allow the charm of success to seduce us, or we shall be like a foolish traveler who is so distracted by the pleasant meadows through which he is passing that he forgets where he is going.
As always, the map is not the terrain. I feel that in many ways, actually in all ways, I have left off trying to read the map, and have stepped out onto the terrain for the very first time.
